Long before I met her, I already knew her name would be Lady.
I was 24 years old, relentlessly searching online for Morkie puppies in my area while slowly saving money from my low-paying job. I was living with my boyfriend at the time when I saw a post about two Morkie puppies looking for a new home.
The moment I laid eyes on Lady, I knew she was special. She was playfully chasing her brother around, completely unaware that I had already fallen in love with her.
Growing into adulthood alongside Lady has been challenging at times but endlessly rewarding. She has stayed by my side through breakups, career changes, surgeries, road trips, learning to drive, marriage, pregnancy, a pandemic, and more moves than either of us would have preferred.
She did not simply grow up with me. She has lived through nearly every version of me.
Now 14 years old, Lady also shares her home with my 5-year-old son and has learned to coexist with the noise, toys, unpredictable movements, and daily chaos that come with raising a small child.
It was not until my son came along that I began to recognize Lady’s anxiety.
Looking back, the signs had always been there. I just assumed that was how dogs behaved. She was my first pet, I was young, and I did not know what I was looking for.
Lady barks excessively, especially when I leave for work in the morning and she has to stay home. She pants, trembles, paces around the house, licks her paws, and sometimes licks the baseboards when she cannot settle. Every time we have moved, she has urinated inside the new home from stress. Thunderstorms leave her shaking and unable to relax, no matter how much we try to comfort her. And trips to the veterinarian are rarely peaceful for anyone involved.
As someone who also lives with anxiety, I sometimes wonder whether Lady picked up on some of mine over the years. That thought makes me sad, but I am trying not to blame myself for something neither of us chose.
Lady’s anxiety is part of her, but it is not all of her.
She is incredibly sweet and prefers people over other dogs. She loves naps, meat bones, dog parks, familiar routines, and curling up beside the people she trusts. She is also very demanding about affection. If you stop petting her before she has decided you are finished, she will scratch at your hand repeatedly until you resume your duties. And she is funny. Whether she is barking at absolutely nothing, staring at us until we understand what she wants, or finding the most inconvenient place possible to nap, she has always had a personality much bigger than her tiny 10-pound body.
Lady may be anxious, but she is also loyal, loving, funny, affectionate, and deeply woven into our family. There is not one thing that makes her unique…it is all of her.
Long before I met her, I knew her name would be Lady.
What I did not know was that, 14 years later, she would still be my little shadow, following me through every uncertain chapter of adulthood, one anxious, adorable bark at a time.
This picture of Lady is my most recent image of her and was taken on Saturday.
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