Messy Minded Momma

I always wondered why my 4-year-old was naturally good at sports. If there was a ball involved, he just knew what to do. From an early age, he could toss, kick, bounce, and roll a ball exactly where it was supposed to go.

I, on the other hand, am the least athletic person I know. I lack the physical, mental, and technical skills required to be good at just about anything sports-related, not to mention my terrible hand-eye coordination.

In high school, my gym class experience consisted of a long string of participation excuses: forgetting my gym clothes, menstrual cramps, a sore ankle, a headache… you name it. I became very comfortable sitting uncomfortably on the wooden bench while watching the boys lift weights and play sports.

My husband also didn’t play sports growing up. Because of his size, people constantly asked if he played football or basketball. The answer was always no.

So where exactly does our son get his athleticism from?

I recently read that a child’s athletic ability is a combination of genetic inheritance and environmental factors… insert head scratching here.

As a millennial mom, I’m raising a living room child, not a bedroom child. My son’s toys are stored neatly in a grey ottoman at night and scattered across the living room floor during the day.

My son started walking independently just before his first birthday, and honestly, he’s been an athlete ever since.

He would grab one of his toy balls, run to the kitchen sink, and throw it in. Over and over. All day, every day.

At the time, I didn’t understand why he constantly needed to do this.

Then one day, while wandering through a toy store, I spotted the classic red, white, and blue Step2 junior basketball net. Maybe I could redirect his behaviour toward the net instead of my kitchen sink, I thought to myself.

And it was on sale. Bonus.

The moment that basketball net entered the chat, it never left.

I signed him up for community basketball classes as soon as he turned 2  (the minimum age requirement) and we were off to the races.

His form and aim were some of the best in the group, and we continued with classes until he was old enough to join Jr. NBA at age 4.

We were going somewhere, and I was proud.

The Jr. NBA classes were very different from the community-run programs led by teenagers. The community classes grouped children within two-year age ranges (2-3-year-olds, 4-5-year-olds, etc) with class sizes of about 6-10 children.

For a 30-minute class, more than half the time was spent stretching or playing games like What Time Is It, Mr. Wolf? There would usually be about 10 minutes of free play at the end.

My son had zero interest in the games that weren’t basketball-related.

And I hated to be that parent… but we were there to ball, not play Octopus.

Thankfully, the coaches allowed us to practice shooting on the real, but lowered, basketball nets.

The Jr. NBA program felt much more serious. It followed the official NBA curriculum, ran for 50 minutes, and even came with logo-branded shirts.

This was the real deal.

There was one coach and roughly six groups of 10-12 children each. I was excited to see where my son would go with this.

Turns out, the only place he went was off into the clouds.

Looking back now, this is where I realized my son had ADHD.

I think I always knew my son was neurodivergent, like me. There had been signs along the way, but the larger class sizes and overwhelming noise levels completely checked him out. He was done. He no longer wanted to play.

I wish I had the understanding of ADHD then that I do now. I would have tried harder to support and encourage him instead of assuming he simply lost interest.

Sports can be an incredible outlet for children with ADHD for many reasons. Team sports offer high-intensity movement, structure, dopamine boosts, and confidence building. Individual sports, meanwhile, often provide more one-on-one coaching and instruction.

Since leaving basketball, my son asked to try soccer, which he also eventually dropped out of.

I’m realizing more and more that my son benefits from extra one-on-one support and instruction… just like I did.

His newest sport is baseball.

He’s scheduled to start next Wednesday, and my husband and I volunteered to be joint coaches so our son can get the support he needs. Baseball offers the experience of a team sport while still focusing heavily on individual skills like pitching and batting.

I have no doubt my son will do amazing things.

And while the neurodivergent little girl in me knows absolutely nothing about baseball, lacks confidence, and is painfully socially awkward… the momma bear in me has her whistle and adhesive eye black ready to go